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Monday, January 2, 2017

My Thoughts and Feelings by M

Hi I'm M,

Alright that sounded a little corny for an opening but not really sure what to put as this is something new to me. I've never written a blog post before so please forgive me if it doesn't come across as eloquent as Dianne's post. She is sitting here right next to me to help me if I have questions but she wants me to express things in my own way which I asked her to do. Now that I'm sitting here writing this I'm having second thoughts but I've already committed to it so here it goes.

Since Dianne has already gone into how I discovered her blog and also my discovery of Bob's apparent discomfort and pantie wearing at work I won't bother rehashing that. What I would like to say though is since I was already aware of her blog for reasons you already know, I was interested to find out more about the dynamics of this relationship. It certainly sounded interesting and I could see where it could possibly work to bring about change in a person. I certainly was aware that spankings brought about change in my behavior as I was growing up. It's just that I never had even dreamed about this being effective with an adult man or woman. So when I discovered Dianne's blog in my research it definitely peaked an interest or curiosity in me. So I decided to give it a try which that's all that happened was that I suggested it to my now ex husband. So I never really got to find out if this worked or not. Dianne had informed me through emails that both partners had to be willing for it to work and she was right about that. At that point I got divorced and really didn't even think about spanking as a lifestyle anymore, Also I quit doing research and reading Dianne's blog because there was really no reason to. I certainly wasn't reading it for entertainment or looking for something sexual to do as I didn't even have a partner anymore. Not to mention spanking was anything but sexual in my mind.

Fast forward about a year and that fateful day in my office with Bob showing obvious signs of discomfort when he sat down for our meeting. I really was concerned that maybe he had gotten hurt somehow and hadn't said anything. When he told me he was just sore from doing some things around his house I really didn't give it a second thought. I did make the statement about Dianne giving him a good whooping but was really just joking around. It was nothing more than a figure of speech and I certainly didn't think that actually happened. But then his reaction when I said it I thought was very odd. He did eventually laugh and say that wasn't the case but it took him a few seconds and it sounded like a forced laugh. It definitely peeked my curiosity to say the least and honestly made me think of Dianne's blog when it happened. It just sort of came from the back of my mind because as I already stated this was not something I thought about anymore. I quickly blew those thoughts off and thought there's no way this was actually the case with Bob. As you know I asked him to help me move some stuff around in the office which he did. And as Dianne said I did notice he didn't seem to be all that sore while doing this but I still didn't think to much about it. I thought well maybe he's hiding any pain or discomfort so I didn't feel bad for asking him to help. I want to make clear at this point I was certainly not on a mission to confirm any suspicions. Then that final thing when he picked up those boxes and sat them on my desk and his pants slipped down a little. And I was standing directly behind him when he went to pull them back up. He raised his shirt and there was no doubt that he was wearing panties. They weren't frilly sexy panties they were just regular cotton panties like Hanes Her Way or Fruit of the Loom. But being a woman it wasn't hard to detect that they were definitely panties and not men's underwear. Dianne wrote about Bob panicking and pulling his jeans up rather quickly and he certainly did. But I have to admit I was just as shocked as he probably was upon seeing him in panties. I didn't say anything or even try to let on that I'd seen them but it certainly again peeked my curiosity. And of course made me think again about Dianne's blog. So as soon as I got home that day (Friday)  I got online and looked again at her blog. I read the stories that had been posted since I'd last been on her site and then made a mental note of her name. With this knowledge I went in Monday morning curious to say the least. And just to shorten things up I won't go into to it because Dianne's already wrote about what happened that morning.

And yes I did want to certainly meet her I mean I felt I had to just to learn more about hers and Bob's arrangement. My main concern was now that I had knowledge of this new information was it going to effect Bob's and my working relationship. That was something I couldn't let happen. So we met and I also talked to Bob several more times at work to try and smooth things over to where he still felt comfortable around me as his superior. It really didn't change anything once we'd talked about it and it was all out in the open and I'd convinced him his secret was safe with me. So within just a few days we were back to business as usual at work. And then it happened that fateful day with my boss and Bob going way overboard with his comment. I was pissed off to say the least and made sure he knew I was. But as fate would have it that was the day I was supposed to have lunch with Dianne and meet her for the first time. Really the second time as I'd briefly met her at a Christmas party one time. But that was way before I had any knowledge of their relationship. Anyways Bob's little comment and the way he handled the situation created a real shit storm for me as you can imagine. My boss was determined that Bob be wrote up at the very least and I certainly couldn't blame him. And if it weren't for my newly discovered knowledge about him and Dianne I would have done it in a heartbeat. But now I'm thinking maybe there's a better way to deal with this. I obviously couldn't tell my boss this but I was at least willing to give it a try so I went to bat for Bob with my boss. If he'd had continued to insist I'd have had no choice but I was able to finally convince him to let me try and handle it. Of course you know I told Dianne and what that eventually led too.

Now onto the real reason for this post and that is my feelings about how I felt spanking Bob that first time. And I must say part of me really wanted to just as retribution for the trouble he caused me. I think that would be a natural response for anyone given the opportunity. But my concerns were would it really work as I had no experience with spanking another adult nor had I even really thought about it before discovering Dianne's blog that first time. And secondly and probably my biggest concern was how would it effect mine and Bob's working relationship. As you know through some discussions with Dianne and Bob as well I was starting to lean towards the idea. The story Dianne told me about Bob having this fantasy about being spanked by me was a real motivator. I'm thinking to myself I'll show him how stupid that is to think about me that way. Then of course that day he comes storming into my office was the final straw that made up my mind. I mean it had barely been a week since I'd stuck my neck out for him with my boss because of his anger and here he was blowing up again. So I felt it was time I did something to change his attitude. As Dianne said in her post I stood up grabbed him and stuck his nose in the corner. Once I had done this and saw how effective it was at knocking him down a few notches I thought you know this spanking thing could really work. I mean there Bob was in my office throwing a tantrum like a little boy and as soon as I responded to that by treating him like a child and sticking his nose in the corner he instantly started settling down. So that put my mind at ease about spanking him.

Once it actually came down to spanking him that night at my house I made sure I confirmed with him that it wasn't going to effect our working relationship. Once I'd done that then I was determined to teach him a lesson. I felt what he'd done was pretty serious in fact serious enough it could cost him his job if he didn't get control of his anger at work. That's why I chose to use the strap because I knew from experience from both being on the receiving end of it as well as using it that it was not something that you take lightly once you've felt it. It's not something that will cause damage by breaking skin or anything but it certainly hurts like the dickens and makes you feel like it is. And the strapping I gave Bob that night was by far the worst strapping I'd ever given or for that matter ever received. The worst one I ever got was about ten to fifteen strokes from my mom when she caught me smoking pot out behind the barn when I was seventeen. I thought I was going to die before she was through but I can tell you I never tried pot again. And that was the last strapping I ever received as well.

Dianne and I had talked though beforehand about me spanking Bob and she had told me it would probably take more than I'm used to giving because of his fantasies about spanking and also the fact he's an adult. I explained to her about my spanking method or as she called it my two part spanking. So she knew going in what I was wanting to accomplish with Bob. And as she explained once I saw the tears in his eyes I knew I was getting through to him and it was time for the punishment to really start. In fact that's what she whispered to me during his strapping was that I was to the point of breaking him down emotionally to where he felt bad for what he's done. And that it was time for me to punish him enough to make sure he felt like he'd paid a big enough price to relieve his guilt. And so I did and as I told her I'm no stranger to delivering a good spanking so I was able to judge by Bob's reactions when he'd had enough. It took more than I thought it would but I also knew having Dianne right there she'd let me know if she felt like I needed to end it sooner.

So once that first spanking was out of the way it relieved all my concerns I was having about spanking Bob and how it would effect us at work. I saw first hand all it did was make things better between us and didn't hurt our working relationship at all. He actually became more attentive and kept a cooler head at work. He'll come talk to me now if something is starting to upset him and we can sit down and figure things out together instead of him just blowing up and saying or doing something stupid. And a few months later when I caught him lying to me it was no big deal for me to take him to my house after work and paddle his butt knowing it would bring the desired results. I realize with me anyways it's just simply a way of correcting childish behavior nothing more. There is certainly no sexual element to it for me anyways nor do I think there is for him now either. I think that first strapping I gave him pretty much cured him of any desire to be punished by me. And after that first strapping I gave him I too realized it really wasn't any different than when I had to correct one of my kids behaviors. He was a grown man yes but it was childish behavior I was correcting like a little boy in a grown mans body. In the end the results were the same. So it was something I didn't really want to do but felt it needed to be done to correct a bad behavior.

Now let's talk about Dianne and her spanking. This one was a lot less complicated for me and there were certainly no concerns on my part about doing it. The reason being is that already being fully aware of hers and Bob's relationship it was not something new to me as it was the first time with Bob. That and I knew Dianne was like me and understood spanking the same way I did, That is it was not anything sexual to her it was just punishment nothing more. I could tell she felt horrible for what she'd done and I really felt like a good spanking and some tears would be a good release for her emotionally. If her and Bob didn't have the relationship they had I would never have suggested it. Sure I was hurt that Dianne had used my real name but more concerned about fallout from anonymity than I was mad. But as I said I could tell she was really feeling guilty and as I said I felt it was the quickest way to release those feelings. Otherwise I felt like it would have been this lingering cloud always hanging over our friendship. This way it was just a hard hand spanking and paddling and a good cry for her to release those feelings of guilt. Then we were able to move on as friends without anything hanging over us. I was pretty stern with her during our discussion but really wasn't as mad as she thought. I was being serious during, as she put it her interrogation but that's because I wanted to get her into a proper mindset so she would be able to release those guilty feelings. I mean at least in my mind it was pretty serious she used my real name because as she said that was a big fear of mine was being discovered. I know the odds are extremely slim but after all I did discover her and Bob. And it was her begging me and finally convincing me that she would make sure there was no way that would ever happen before I let her write about me. So in my mind as I said I was hurt and a little worried as well. I was just going to feel her out that afternoon before suggesting a spanking but when she said she was willing to do anything to make it up to me, that just kind of opened the door to suggesting it. In no way was I going to try and force it on her and I did let her make the decision. She did agree with me it was probably a good way to handle it for both of us.

M




103 comments:

  1. M I don't disagree with you and after reading this blog for sometime it's nice to finally see the other side of you, but what still eats at me is why do you get o decide what is childish behavior? What gives you that right, and for that fact what if Bob or Dianne confront you saying your behavior is childish and say you need to have your attitude corrected would it be okay with you to be spanked? The whole boss thing still is very weird and I don't personally think it's a good idea and it would affect me in a working relationship that's just me though, real life versus what a husband and wife do in private shouldn't mix expecially to the point of affecting your livelihood of income to survive. But with that being said I do really like you and your take on corrective punishment it seems to hit the head on the nail with bringing someone to release emotions of guilt and truly feeling sorry for what they have done you seem to have a real nack for being able to keep someone in check on there bad behavior, I know I would hate to find my self at the end of your strap.

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    1. I don't decide what is childish behavior the two times I spanked Bob was with Dianne's permission. The second time it was actually Bob's choice.
      Those are the only two times I've spanked him and could be the only two times. They had nothing to do with his performance at work but rather rules that were broken that could have just as easily gotten him written up and even terminated. All the regular day to day routines are the same and nothing has changed between us.
      He still has opinions and input about the job just as he always has without any fear of me spanking him. But if he breaks company rules that's on him not me. I treat him no different than any other employee.

      M

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  2. And to add to the above, since Bob probably knew he was wrong and went over the line and deserved what you said he deserved and Bob whent willingly to receive his punishment, I just want to know what happens when you think someone deserves to be spanked and that person doesn't think they deserve to be spanked, is there a line to be drawn on that and does everything someone does wrong small or big end in a spanking, I can see where being overly dominant and forcing someone to repent for everything you think they did wrong can drive someone away and with you being Bobs boss does everything Bob does at work that makes you mad or annoyed always end in a spanking? Can Bob be an employee and challenge you his boss with out having you spank him? It also seems like bob gets a lot more fantasy out of this then actual corrective punishment does that ever play a factor do you think not giving someone what they want is as much of a punishment as actually spanking them?

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    1. It's like I answered above nothing has changed in our working relationship. He can challenge my decisions and give his opinion just like he always did. The spankings just gave me another option for disciplining him for breaking company rules.
      As far as it being a sexual turn on for him if it was he sure didn't show it during his spankings. Maybe that something he needs to answer but all I can go by are his reactions. That and what him and Dianne have told me. I can tell you the last paddling was over a year ago and he certainly hasn't done or said anything indicating he'd like another one from me.

      M

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  4. Hi M & Diane,

    It seems like your relationship is developing in a very interesting direction.

    Do you socialize at all beyond what you've posted about so far?

    I'm very curious about where you are all headed!
    jen

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    1. Yes we've all become very good friends and do get together and go eat or do other things.
      As far as this heading anywhere I don't think it's headed anywhere other than where it is. We're all just good friends and Bob and I work together. That's really all there is.

      M

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    1. Open dialogue is fine but I've warned you to many times about your negative comments.

      Dianne

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    3. Censoring contrary views because they are "negative" isn't exactly open dialogue. You obviously want an echo chamber of views that are the same as your own.

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    4. James I don't agree with you coming on here and telling me or anyone how we should do things. For you it's your way or nothing and everyone else is wrong. And if they don't agree with you then they open themselves up to negative comments and name calling. That's what I won't put up with. I suggest you start your own blog to express your opinions since you don't seem to agree with anyone else's.

      Dianne

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    6. This comment just proves what I was saying above. Your a very cruel and viscous person James. You set out with every comment to try and cause some harm or dissension. Because of your comments I have no desire to read your blog.

      Dianne

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    8. The blog is not for you, just about you. The record will reflect who the cruel and vicious one is. All I need are your own words.

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    9. James I just went over and looked at your mean spirited blog. Didn't read it except for the titles of your post. As I figured you've declared war on many blogs dealing with FLR which isn't surprising given the cruel contents of your comments. But the one thing I did notice is none of your post have any comments so you don't have much of a following.

      My suggestion to you would be if blogs like mine bother you so much then you should stop reading them. But rather I think you're looking for attention and can't get it on your own blog. So you have to come to my blog as well as others to try and get that attention.

      Dianne

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    10. I just re activated that one. You deserve your own dedicated blog. I'm not going to use that one for you.

      As wounding as your comment is, I had a decent number of hits before I shut it down and re-started it. It takes time to build a following. Plus, it's really a labor of love.

      I could give a shit about attention. I'm just addressing the evil things published here and in certain other blogs.

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    11. If you say so James but I went almost 2 years without a post and still have plenty of followers.

      Dianne

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  6. My Pop was a neurosurgeon/psychologist at Menningers ...and he wood say, 'Transversalism is for the weak minded, finished within one week'.

    Wanna have Intimacy4eternity?
    Wanna wiseabove to Seventh-Heaven?
    Turn around and follow us...

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  8. Thanks for your candid comments. I wonder whether, at this point, were the opportunity to arise with someone you are dating, whether you would consider spanking him, assuming he is agreeable to it. At least, now, you would know how to do it properly. (If this is too forward a question, please just decline to answer. And I apologize for asking it.) Doug

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  9. Now that my mind has been opened to this type of relationship sure I would be willing to institute it in any future relationships. But it is certainly not a prerequisite for who I date.

    M

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  10. Dianne,
    Why don't you go to moderator approval for a period as Dan did to get rid of "James". The guy is an absolute jerk with some obviously deep seated issues . Why let him continue to impose them on you and your readers? His problem probably is that no woman would ever care to spank him and he is taking that out on the world.
    Alan

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    1. I just might have to check into that Alan and your right James is a real piece of work. By his reply to you below it's obvious he doesn't understand what true discipline is. He's willing to be spanked as long as he can stay in control.

      If you want me to remove his reply let me know and I'll be glad to do so. But again it just shows how mean spirited he is.

      Dianne

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    2. I've never done ANY of the awful things to another human being that you have. If you want me to stop commenting, then stop insulting me.

      I know several professional disciplinarians. I am very familiar with "true discipline." It doesn't involve the level of cruelty or degradation you have inflicted.

      This is the most mean-spririted blog I've ever come across in this realm. I've could never imagine a wife doing what you did and then publicizing it. I'd hoped it would have stayed dead after your last post in 2014. Alas, that was not to be the case.

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    3. Again quit reading it if it bothers you so bad.

      Dianne

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    4. Dianne,
      He is a complete phony.His own comments eloquently demonstrate that.He has no idea what loving domestic discipline is and surely has never experienced it.As I said above the guy has some serious issues and maybe he should consider going somewhere else to work on them
      Alan

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  11. Fuck you, Alan. You little prick.

    You don't know shit about me. I get all the of the spanking activity I want. Sure, it's none of the awful stuff described on this blog. I've never had women hold me down and beat me as I sobbed uncontrollably (like Dee/Dianne did), but I can enjoy it whenever I want.

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  12. In any event, I won't comment here any further. She can moderate if she wants, but I'll air my views elsewhere, as Dianne recommended.

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    1. And yet you turn around and add one more comment as you did above.

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    2. Only because you insulted me. If attacked, I will respond.

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  13. Hey M and Dianne,

    Dianne you said you have Bob down to 4-5 spankings a year and these are real disciplinary spankings and you only allow M to spank Bob by yours and his permission, my question is if Bob asked to have the real disciplinary spankings to stop would the possibility of play spankings still be on the table? Have you ever had any thoughts on opening up more to play spankings that could involve you and M playing with Bob?

    And not to be rude or to continue the current comments but as M is yours and Bobs friend and being new and learning about this type of relationship with you and Bob what kind of future do you see could there be a time M gets a husband and could the same thing happen that M spanked Bob would M allow you Dianne to spank her husband? And is there any thing Bob would think about that I'm just woundering how a friendship like this evolves what kind of emotions like jealousy or openness or training sharing of ideas keeping secrets does everything involve M Diane and Bob or is it more a M and Diane friendship and when you two hang out bob would rather be doing guy things in his personal time? It would be nice to hear more about this relationship between friends as this is the first time I have been able to read about a start of a friendship just would like to learn more about it your story is why I keep reading I hope to learn and eventually apply it to my own life but reading about yours first really helps. And since that was very long I'm sorry delet it if you want I should shorten these up one day just have lots of questions.

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  14. To answer your questions of course if Bob wanted the discipline spankings to stop they would. Just like he asked for them he can ask me to stop. As far as the play spankings yes he could have those still with me and me only. Those are a form of foreplay and certainly not disciplinary. So no no other women would be involved. I'm not looking to encourage cheating here. The spankings he received from M as well as my sister were pure discipline nothing more. There was no sexual overtones at all.

    As far as our friendship goes it's just that a friendship. Sometimes all three of us get together other times me and M may do something. The spankings and friendship are two totally different things. One does not revolve around the other.

    Dianne

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    1. I forgot to add one thing and that is the length of your comment is fine. I don't delete comments unless they're rude or like the one above they posted the same comment twice. I deleted one of the two.

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  15. The last post from M was the missing piece of the puzzle for me. I didn't quite understand how she could envision going to use spanking as a retribution for Bob Well, she was certainly not imune to the idea since she had gotten a strappping herself from her mother at 17 years old and even used it mildly on her own daughter at the very same age. Spanking was already accepted as a possibility using it in a rational manner. Today spanking for children is forbidden in many countries, or more or less questioned in many debates when it comes to children and teenagers. Since it's always given on the bare, it seems to create an erotic connexion afterward even if it hurts like hell while getting it. For some it will have been just a very small chapter in their life for others it carved such an in print that will remain for ever at different level going from pure passing fantasy to an addiction. It's the Stockolm syndrome. more or less. Anyway, M is certainly a fine woman and a caring mother too. She strapped her daughter once to protect her againts the use of drugs. Spanking only doesn't do the trick though, a lot of caring before and trust since her birth are the basis of a good education and a good relations between children and parents ,where spanking only occurred for a specific offense that is considered serious and to make a point.And there aren't that many occasions in a normal family. Today, spanking is banned from many countries or at least questionned and reasonably so because it could be abuse pure and simple. It has been a lot in the past. As for adult, it needs to be consensual what ever the consensus is. Not every couple has a husband who asked sincerely to be held accountable and asked for real punishment in that form. I suspect M to be dominant enough to wish for a husband lke that. I hope she finds one if she so desired. But that's only assumption from my part. Now I see why she finds comfort in the frienship of Dianne. It can only be constructive. One last thing, the way she manages to sperarate her spanking in two parts speaks volume on how she is well aware of the "practice". and seem quite skillful and capable a that as Dianne realized during Bob strapping and for herself. Not mentionning the paddling Bob got where she seemed confident to be able to deal with him on a one on one basis. Just for the sake of discussion. I wonder if Dr Phil would invite people like you on his program. I doubt he would because the majority of his audience wouldn't stand it. Thanks for having M giving her feelings here, Happy New years to both of you

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    1. With both of us being from the south here in the United States and growing up in the 60's and 70's spanking was certainly not foreign to either of us. In fact corporal punishment is still in practice today in a lot of the smaller school districts. The bigger ones have gone with the mainstream and banned it all together though. But that's just been in the last twenty years or so.

      I certainly don't know anything about a spanking being erotic or it certainly wasn't for me growing up and still isn't. Bob was the opposite he didn't get spanked growing up and so he developed a curiosity about what it would be like. That curiosity eventually led to it being a sexual fantasy for him. So I think it really depends on the individual and as you said the environment they were raised in. Definitely love, caring and nuturing are big parts of that equation.

      Dianne

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    2. I agree with Dianne completely and feel exactly the same way she does about spanking. It's simply a tool to correct bad behavior and to teach a lesson. Given properly it's not abusive. I never felt abused growing up when I got spanked. But rather I felt I'd screwed up and paid a price for it. I came away learning a lesson which corrected my behavior. But I always felt loved and accepted. I spank the same way I was spanked, the first part discussing why we're doing it and making sure that's fully understood. The second part is just to reinforce that and teach the lesson.
      One thing I would add is that showing compassion and love after the spanking is over is just as important. The person being spanked needs to know all is forgiven and that they're still loved.

      M

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  16. Hey M and Dianne, love the blog, good job M keep him inline at work and brilliant Dianne with having eyes at work!!!! Look forward to reading your blog!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it and having eyes at work is a big help.

      Dianne

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    2. There's really not much to keeping Bob in line at work as he's probably my best employee. The two times Dianne wrote about are the only two times I spanked him. Both of them were for breaking company policy. If I didn't have the option to spank him he would have been written up. I'm certainly not looking for reasons to punish him on a day to day basis.

      M

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  17. A New Year, met a wonderful woman, my age, young and full of life. Tired of spending time in the bathroom prior to meeting her and afterwards, looking at F/m magazines and masturbating. Finally the need was too great and not knowing what would happen I stripped down to just my socks, the floors are cold, walked in the kitchen, no shock in her face, she pulled the chair out, over her lap I went. I got more than I bargained for, her hand was hard and landed fast. Standing afterwards, rubbing, I told her everything. She stood up and with a grip on my ear led me to the bathroom. I had to pee and she watched. The rules were layed out, I would be spanked, when she decided, I would not masturbate, and all magazines will be handed over to her NOW. That was three months ago, I have been spanked since then, we will be getting married in another couple of months, nothing will change, and we both could not be happier.

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    1. I'm glad you found each other best wishes to you both.

      Dianne

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  18. M and Dianne

    Since Bob asked to be held accountable for his actions do you find that a positive trait for just say a man in this case, being able to willingly give up any sort of ego to be spanked for his actions? Would you say that makes Bob more of a man or a more trusting and respected husband to face his consequences?

    Second question- since neither of you get spanked by Bob for any bad actions on your part what is the equivalent to a punishment by Bob to you? Is it sit down and talk things through is there a one and done like Bob with his spankings? How does a couple handle being equal in bad behavior when one gets a much more extreme way of dealing with such behaviors and the other doesn't? (I can also understand the subject of M and Bob at work how facing termination can really scare a couple and M and her daughter with drugs those cases make sense to me why being not just scared but angry or sad can lead to wanting to spank someone and to me rightfully so) since bob doesn't get the whip for little things like being messy or leaving the toilet seat up etc etc but for probably big offenses like what he has done before how would you expect Bob to react or handle the same situations if the roles were reversed and you Diane or M where in his shoes at the times? How would you want him to handle it?

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  19. I know for me anyways it's made Bob a much more respectful employee. And as far as me doing something that I'd need to be punished for that's not really the case. I'm his supervisor so if I were to do something against company policy it would be my boss that would deal with me not Bob. As I've stated the two spankings I gave him were for breaking company rules. As far as anything on a personal basis that's Dianne's department not mine.

    M

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  20. To answer your first question the answer would be a definite yes. He's become a lot more caring and compassionate husband since I started spanking him. He pays more attention to my needs as well as he's come a long way with his temper and procrastination issues.

    Now the second question it's entirely possible for us to keep equality with him being the only one that gets spanked. The reason being is he's the one that asked for that. I didn't ask nor do I want to be spanked for my shortcomings. So we're both getting what we want. I don't have the same issues he does with my temper and procrastination. Nor am I disrespectful towards him by ogling at other men. But that one is more of a guy thing. So really I didn't have any areas in my life I felt like I needed some extra motivation (spankings) in.

    For him they have given him accountability in those areas but also spankings allow him to release his guilt. For me I'm fine with apologizing to him if I do something wrong and then rewarding him in some way for doing whatever. But these cases are pretty rare. Again the spankings are such a fractional portion of our daily lives that maintaining equality is no big deal.

    Dianne

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  21. I was wondering how you look like and how M and Amy look like too. Any celebrities to whom you could resemble ladies? To M: would you llke to find a partner consort who would submit to your spanking, like Dianne has? Do you sitll keep the strap and the paddle at your house just in case or because in any case it's part of the tradition? And would you spank Bob ,once and a whle for a number of little things added to one another, he still doesn't change after many warnings? If another spanking is due for Bob would you first inform Dianne before or just proceed and tell her after? Over the years do the three of you have become you become a better spanker?

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    1. I can't think of any celebrities right now that we look like. The picture on my profile picture is really me. I'm not going to show my face for obvious reasons. As far as Amy and M I'll leave that up to them if they want to post a picture or not.

      Dianne

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    2. As far as looking for someone who would want me to spank them that's not high on my list. I'm not currently looking for another boyfriend or husband but there's a lot of other criteria that would be more important than spankings. Seeing first hand how Dianne and Bob have built their relationship in certainly not against it though.
      As far as Bob goes I would never decide to spank him on my own. He's not my husband he's Dianne's husband. I think your putting me to high on the pedestal as far as me and Bob are concerned. We've all become good friends outside of work because of this development but that's it. It's not my place to decide if he needs a spanking. At work Bob and I have a normal boss/ employee relationship and it has to be that way. I treat him no differently than any other employee. The only difference would be the spanking aspect but that just gives me another avenue for discipline that I wouldn't have with another employee. I'm not looking for any reason to spank him so no little things don't add up. The two times I did spank him were for very serious infractions regarding work rules. And both were with Dianne's permission.
      As far as a picture goes I'll have to think about it.

      M

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  22. Men wanting to be spanked, is there a particular reason that is mentioned.
    For me it is that I want the woman to be in charge, and that means spankings if I step out of line.

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    1. Not sure what you mean about it being mentioned. But yes if a man wants a woman to control him or hold him accountable then spanking is one option.

      Dianne

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  23. As long as there women who wish to be in charge, there will be men wishing the samething. My marriage has lasted because of this, everything in our life is great, sex especially. When it comes to spankings, nothing sexual, it just that. Women should have stepped out a long time ago, what a gift that was never fully realized, glad I found it.

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    1. I agree it's very beneficial but again the men have to want it or it won't work.

      Dianne

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    2. Maybe the question I'm asking is Do Women enjoy spanking men? Is there something in a woman make up that include spankings?

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  24. I wouldn't say that women enjoy spanking men. I spank Bob but it's nothing I really enjoy. I'm just as happy when I don't have to spank him.

    What I do enjoy is the results a spanking produces. I do think women are more nurturing than men so it's easier to spank a man because they care about them.

    Dianne

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    1. I spank L. when his (mis)behavior calls for it, and (like you) it's because I care about him - but I also enjoy doing it (and I suspect you also do)
      Several of my (women) friends know that I spank him - and a few of them have even watched - but (apart from my sister), I wouldn't dream of having one of them 'take a hand'...
      L. doesn't have a female supervisor like M. - but, even if he did, I would be reluctant to have her take over the task of discipling him, and I would (if needed) take care of it myself!

      J.

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    2. Thank's for answering my question, women play such an important part of life that I feel strongly that we men forget, but also when things get really bad for us men the first person we turn to is our mothers. Women have a better understanding, the ability to see the problem and ways to correct it. I feel less stress, more sure of myself, when I know stepping out of line will be a trip across the lap and the final result a very red, warm bare bottom, but for me and me only this is what I want. Times are changing and I feel the women should step forward and take their place, should have happen long time ago.

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    3. As a wife who has used spankings a few times it comes down to women do things that they may not prefer to do but have to do, it is in their makeup. When I spank my husband, there is a reason, he knows it. I give a very sound spanking over my lap, wish not to do it often, so insure the lesson is learned. I would prefer grabbing his beautiful buns during sex, they feel soo good.

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    4. I feel the same way I love the results it brings and the fact it helps him with what he feels he needs. Certainly not anything I look forward to doing but I will do it if necessary.

      Dianne

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  25. Thanks M and Dianne for anwering my quieries Now Dianne would you let Bob indulge himself by spending time on spanking websites and forums today. The same question could be adressed to M too. Do you feel its improper for a mature man and husband to dwell on such sites and maybe masturbate over them? Does Bob asks you for a spanking often. In fact, my question is did the fact that he got some real painful trashings over the years, made him less atracted to spanking in general. In other words he is cured of it? Do you think getting them for real offenses really relieved him of his guilt? Some people say, it only feeds the need for punishment, even if it's nothing to be enjoyed while getting it, he always be tempted at one point or another down the line, more or less consciously, to screw up again and deserved a bare bottom blistering. It's a kind of love-hate relation for spanking, like a vicious circle. You hate it but you're unmistakinly attracted to it. What do you think? Is he still looking for accountability and punishment like at he beginning? And aren't you tired of spanking him like that?

    My other comment is about Dee and Brianna. I couldn't get myself to accept how Dee dealt with him the way she did. That's just my feeling That she was deceived by Bob and decided to take this "rare" opportunity to seek vengeance is one thing. Although I still don't understand her not having checked with you first before engaging in this procedure. But It's one thing to confront the offender with consequences it's another thing to involve her daughter Brianna in the process. Btw I didn't get exactly how old she was at the time. Now, it's only an opinion, but for me Dee never had to involve Brianna in this whole affair. In my mind it wasn't Brianna's business at all. It was only between Dee and Bob. In fact, the only third, if not first other person involved in that, it was Dianne. A daughter is still a daughter, and even if she's having a loving relation with her mother, she's not really a friend, like M and Dianne are today I understand. Brianna is a second generation relatives and has nothing to do in her mother love affair or dispute she is having with an old school flame back in her teenage years. Now that she needed a witness, just for her own safety when he came home to be punished personaly by her is perfectly understandable. What do you think?

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    1. As a male, masturbating while enjoying F/m magazines is rewarding, men need that release. I've been "caught" once or twice by girlfriends. First time I had to finish while she watched, the magazines just brought a smile. The second time I was stopped, erect, she picked up the magazine looked through them. So this is what turns you on, I said yes, she smiled and said let me get my hairbrush. Sure wish we never broke up, she was very in many ways.

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    2. What many men don't understand or remember is that most women who agree to be in charge or even make that decision themselves are doing it because they feel their husband needs it and he and their relationship will benefit if discipline is added.But in my admittedly limited experience once a woman decides to discipline spank, some instinct or natural force takes over and discipline becomes a natural and authentic expression of female authority. Maybe its women's natural nurturing instincts or just moving from role playing to real world but whatever it is , once she embraces discipline it becomes very real . That's probably the origin of the oft quoted cliche about being careful what you wish for.I personally have never been sorry what I wished for except when I am actually being punished). But I have been amazed at how a determined woman can turn ( my) fantasy into her reality and how much better that reality is than the fantasy that started it.
      Alan

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    3. I'm going to try and answer everyone's questions in one comment. Ferrule yes it has helped relieve Bob's guilt and has been very effective as far as his fantasies with real discipline. He does his best to avoid them as is obvious by how few I have to give him these days. But as far as his fascination with spankings going away that's not the case. I don't think it will ever go away completely. I do allow him limited time on the internet to look at other blogs and such but under a very watchful eye from me. He doesn't have a need to masturbate because I'll take care of that if needed with one of his fun spankings that he ask for. He still request those at least a couple of times a month. But he is now able to separate fantasy from reality.

      As far as the Dee episode yes she should have checked with me. But we didn't know each other at the time and I was out of town when it happened. She took Bob at his word which she regrets but there's nothing that could have been done after the fact. As you know she got an opportunity to teach him another lesson for being dishonest with her. Her daughter being involved was something she decided as extra humiliation for Bob. By the way she's 26 and a nurse so a nude male body was certainly not shocking to her. I really didn't feel it was necessary to involve her but since she'd already been involved the first time is why I decided to involve her the second time. Originally Brianna was there as protection for Dee just in case Bob's intentions were not what he said. Her eventual involvement was just something that happened to create further humiliation.

      As Alan put it be careful what you wish for. Bob went looking behind my back for retribution from Dee and he certainly got it.

      Dianne

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  26. It's great that you all have a mutual understanding now and that Bob gets the required remedy if he errs. Hope though that it will not be required in the first place.

    NR

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    1. That's the goal we're working towards!!

      Dianne

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  27. What I still don't get is the other half of a relationship between a man and a woman why do the woman or wives who spank there husbands because he asked for it or they think he deserves it why they never mention what they do wrong why they are never punished what there husbands think do all woman really think they are perfect I don't think so, so why doesn't anyone ever say what they think there husband should do to them when they mess up why they think it's okay to punish and give excuses like it's a motherly instinct to punish and lead and never admit they mess up and want there husband to punish them in someway. It's always one sided between the ones who do it and say why they do it the spankings and punishments and the online fantasy readers and bloggers who write fantasy. Why can't women who punish discipline spank there husband admit or say we are equal and what I do to him he should be able to do me if I do something wrong. Or in some cases here have a husbands friend spank you the wife or have your husband say to your boss it's okay to spank my wife she deserves it or even weirder would be if your husbands father came over and spanked you. Some of this just seems to fantasy cause it sounds much weirder if you reverse everything but shouldn't two equal partners be able to do to the other as one partner does on to the other partner what I'm trying to say is why can't the wife who spanks her husband for bad behavior admit that her husband should spank her for her bad behavior unless all woman who spank their husbands are perfect and never do something wrong but I doubt there is someone out there like that.

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    1. I can certainly see your point and I can only answer for myself. Bob gets spanked and I don't simply because he wants it and I didn't. If you've read my blog you know I've gotten it a few times but not because I wanted it. I won't say I didn't need it but it's not something I desire in our relationship. I'm far from perfect and if I do something that's upsets Bob I apologize and we talk things out. I will usually reward him after in some way for me doing whatever I did.

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  28. Reverse situation? I doubt that would work the same way. Dianne did say in a past post that women don't look at a naked man the same way men look at a naked woman. And I think that's very true. It would be very difficult for a man not to be aroused by the bare butt of a woman to be spanked. Woman are naturally able to keep the fire wall between a sexual spanking and a disciplinary one. Dianne and M are pefect example of that.At first sight, nudity is always troubling for a man, while for women not so much. Oh she can admire a cute butt for sure but not to a point of being automarically turned on by it, even if they can delight at the idea of a dishing discipline to a the bare buns of their partner. Our brains are just not wired the same way.

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  29. As odd as it appears at first reading, the presence of Brianna now seems a bit less bizarre at Dee's first "session" and at your home for the 2nd "session", sorta speak.I use the word session because it was planned. If I read you well, Brianna was doing a kind of job like a nurse giving a treatment to remdedy a problem: except not a physical one here but a behavior one. Incidentally, at 26, she could have had a boyfriend or a husband relation ,like you Dianne ,where she had the authority and skill to give bare bottom punishments. So for her, it was not totally but just about another way of caring and curing. A hard way may I add. LOL. I suspect that the school coach Dee asked to paddle Bob, didn't know the follow up, after she left. Maybe she thought it was merely a good regular paddling (tailored for an adult) she was used to give to cheerleaders when they misbehaved and a safety presence for Dee. Paddling at school were never on the bare I guess only at home by the parents I presume. The part where nudity was involved needed the presence of a trusty person for Dee's safety and Brianna was probably the only one avaialble that could understand that process. It's only the diaper part that kills me. Wasn't Bob enough mortified being spanked and strapped by Brianna twice not mentionning Dee's? To me it's degrading. But at the end, it seems, as we say, to do the job and he learned his lesson. Personnaly I don't know how I could have faced M after she had strapped and paddled me half naked form the waist down. Boy, you are tough Dianne and so are you ladies, We better not mess around with you ;-)

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  30. The whole diaper thing was Brianna's idea once she found out her mom was trying to humiliate Bob and really teach him a lesson. She wanted him to feel humiliated just like she did back in their school days. Being a nurse Brianna knew how humiliating it is for adults to have to wear a diaper from working at the hospital. So that's why she suggested doing it to Bob. But your right it was no big deal for her it was just like doing her job. And your also right about Dee's friend the coach she had no idea about what took place after she left.

    As far as M goes Bob has learned and understands now the difference between fantasy and reality. So he knows for M it was nothing more than just dishing out a punishment to him. There was nothing sexual about it in her eyes. Besides both times she looked away or closed her eyes while he lowered his pants. So all he ever exposed to her was his butt.

    Dianne

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  31. The deepest secret you have are your sexual desires. My wife a few years older while dating addressed that concern. It was maybe a couple of months of dating that spending the night at her place she had us both naked in the front room She brought up sexual desires, and I did too, when she mentioned spankings my penis got very erect and hard, I asked her then what she thought of that, her nipples were very hard and she was moist. The spanking did not happen that night, sex was great. It was maybe a week or so later that she said sternly that I needed a spanking, I played along with her and learned quickly she met business. Been married five years, spankings still happen, for punishment, not for sex. It was my deepest secret and nothing to me is better than being over my wife's lap, to have a wife such as this, talk about luck.

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    1. You are a very lucky man and don't forget that. Hopefully you make sure she knows how much you appreciate her everyday.

      Dianne

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    2. After facing the wall she has me sit on her lap and reminds me she loves me, I hugged her and said I know and thank her for understanding me. She does know how to give a good sound spanking, I mention that and she reminds that I best remember that, squirming on her lap I say do.

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    3. I'm glad to hear that because the after care live is just as important as the actual spankings.

      Dianne

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  32. I tend to be bossy, my husband accepts, it was what he did about a year after our marriage. One Saturday morning he walked into the kitchen naked, stated I treated him like a child, and said aren't children who are naughty spanked. I smiled and said you wish a spanking, he said not really, but wanted to make a point. I told him to get over my lap and slowly he did. Oh I spanked him hard, layed down the law, and when I finished, he was rubbing and I said that was not the last time. Deep down he wanted a spanking, I know, but really did not know how to ask, he finally just ask in his own way.

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  33. As I've always said communication is the key.

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    1. Would you give the spanking in this situation?

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  34. I gave it to Bob when he asked for it.

    Dianne

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  35. Say what you want about this male, I cannot be more happy than to be free of my deepest secret and to have found a woman who is now my wife to fully understand. I need a spanking now and then, not for sexual pleasure, for release of stress, have such a job. In the beginning it was okay, but it was not what I really wanted. I soon found myself reading blogs such as yours, purchasing F/m magazines, hiding them, when she was gone, did not matter how long, masturbating while looking at them. As it happened she caught me, I tried to explain, not much luck with that. Oh the spanking I got was what I've been wanting, but since being caught, I now must kneel on a towel and masturbate prior to a spanking. I don't like that part, but I have learned to accept. So I'm very lucky, I know it sounds weird to some, but I came out of the closet, what else could I do.

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    1. I'm glad your wife understood your desires and was willing to fulfill them. It makes for a better husband once your desires are fulfilled. No more sneaking around trying to hide things and probably feeling guilty for doing it.

      Now she gives you what you need and everything is as it should be.

      Dianne

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    2. She does, never going to understand a woman's mind, but have learned a true wife understands her husband and will make him happy. Thank God for such a woman.

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  36. As a wife who spanks her husband, is there any one thing a husband can do to get his wife to spank him? I've talk with her, she is on the fence. She likes to be in charge, has made comments I should improve my attitude and behavior. I've tried edging her, she has this one rule, must have a robe over my pajamas when I come to the kitchen. A couple times forgot and for some reason upsets her. I was thinking of coming to the kitchen naked, would she give a spanking then is what I wonder. What would you do or is there another way. Bert

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    1. There is no one thing the place to start would be communicating with her.

      Dianne

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  37. My wife would joke about spankings, that was all. She knew I was trying to get her to spank me, but would smile and nothing. Finally, sex life was at a lull, so I was in the bathroom masturbating looking at F/m magazine, she was at the store, I thought. She walked in and calmly said, finish. You are getting more than you want she said sternly as I stood up. Made to undress, clean myself off, I got the spanking I wanted, but more than I thought she would do. Her hand was hard, but not as hard as the hairbrush. I danced around, rubbing until she sternly said enough. Standing before her I was told to grab hold of my penis and stand with my back to the wall. Twenty minutes later told to get dress.
    Next morning after the quiet treatment, I told her I was sorry, she looked at me putting her coffee down and said new day and new order, off with the pajamas, back to the wall and back to holding my penis. Now she said as the chair was pulled from the table, this is what you wanted and what you will be getting. A sore spanked bottom was not wanting another so soon, I really squirmed, kicked, pleaded. This time I faced the wall, hands at side. She went back to drinking her coffee.

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  38. I've said many times be careful what you wish for as you might just get it.

    Dianne

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  39. If this male had known that all you needed to do to get your wife to spank you is get caught masturbating, would have done it along time ago. The down side beside the spanking of my life, is that I will masturbate prior to be spanked, I will after the spanking hold my limp penis. Oh and since I wanted to be spanked, my wife spanks no matter where we may be.

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    1. I do not speak for other women, but that is disgusting. If I caught my husband, trust me sitting would be the last thing he would be thinking about. As to making him masturbate prior to a spanking, I would be taken care of that, part of his punishment, my hand is also very good at stroking, if you know what I mean.

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  40. Dianne, I always enjoy your adventures. You're a talented writer. However I wonder, isn't it a bit unusual to socialize with your husbands boss ? In my country not much people would cross that social barrier. Is this different in the US or is it because of the interest in spanking that makes things easier ?

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    1. I suppose you could say it was her discovery of Bob's panties and apparent discomfort that brought us together. But it could have happened another way as well. I'm certainly not aware of any social boundaries here.

      Dianne

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    2. Hello Ms. Dianne,
      Used to read and comment on your blog, but it has been awhile. Glad to see you are still doing an excellent job both with Bob and your blog. I envy him having a woman like you. Caring, but not afraid to discipline. Lucky Bob!
      Keep up the great work!
      Sincerely, A friend

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    3. It has been awhile since I've posted but that's because there's really not been much to post about. But for our relationship that's a good thing. That just indicates that Bob's been able to improve himself as a person and doesn't need the discipline like in the beginning. Now he's much more self disciplined and rationalizes things better.

      Dianne

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  41. Hello Ms. Dianne,
    Used to be a regular reader of your blog. Glad to see it is still active and you are doing your usual fine job. Are panties for Bob new? In any car, I envy Bob having a woe like you. Caring, but in charge and not afraid to discipline. Of course at this point I'd probably need more than 3-4 spankings a year.
    I wish you well.
    Sincerely, A friend

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    1. Thank you for your kind words and no panties are not new. I just use them as one of the tools at my disposal for punishment. I'm a firm believer in catering the punishment to fit the crime. So if say he's disrespectful towards women then a week in panties is a great reminder for him to follow up after a spanking. Kind of like the old saying walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you judge. Spend a week in panties and you'll learn to be respectful towards women.

      Dianne

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  42. Never will this male understand a woman. My girlfriend at times will not be interested. I've done at those times make her feel special, no good. When she is in the mood she enjoys playing with my erection, and then ask me to play with it while she watches, the sex is great. One of those drought times she caught me in the bathroom with a F/m magazine. She was mad, I said you enjoy it in bed, yes she said, but this is disgusting. She made me finish, clean up and this is when I found out she enjoyed spanking men. I could not sit and she was very good at it. Standing before her rubbing, I said you enjoyed that, she smiled, been wanting to do that for a long time, just couldn't until now. Is it going to happen again, afraid so she said, you gotten away with too much already. She stood up and hugged me and rub my sore bottom, I held her tight and said I must confess your the woman I've been looking for. Good she said, but the spankings will not be love taps, a spanking is for a reason, and you will learn from it. I hugged her tight and then kissed her.

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  43. Sounds like you've found marital bliss !!

    Dianne

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    1. I have and true to her word my bare bottom is very warm and stinging when she finishes. I have learned another thing, a man's erection will not stop a spanking. I took hold of it and said this is what you really want, boy that was a spanking I will not want again, I was limp, and really danced around the room. Never dreamed my erection was not her interest at the time. We men see a naked woman, myself the breast and I'm erect in no time.

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  44. Dianne,
    I just saw that you are blogging again; that's great to see. And what a great story to come back with. I used to think Bob was living the ultimate male spanko dream by being spanked by his wife, his sister in-law, and his mother in-law. But I was wrong. To really complete the dream, you have to be spanked by a female boss; which I admit has been one of my long held fantasies also, but I had always thought that was next to impossible to happen in real life.

    All I can say is my hat is off to Bob for living the dream; and to you wonderful ladies in his life who keep him in line. Too bad there aren't more women bosses around like M who will go the extra mile and spank their male employees. Wouldn't be great if there were.

    Thank you for blogging about this,

    Jim

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    1. It may have been a fantasy for him till it happened but trust me it wasn't something he enjoyed. It was very embarrassing and painful for him in reality.

      Dianne

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    2. I trust you totally Dianne in that all four of you ladies gave Bob spankings that were very painful and not the least bit enjoyable. And I'll bet if I was there you each would have had me crying like a baby sooner than Bob.

      The thing is many of us men just find dominant women exciting. And even if none of you ladies ever considered yourself as dominant, in Bob's eyes, all four of you are dominant. For all of you have exercised your authority over him, you've all given him painful embarrassing corporal punishments, and all of you have the power to do it again at any time in the future. Women having that kind of power over a man changes the dynamic of the relationship, even if that power is never exercised again.

      All I'm saying is it's clear to me that Bob has a desire to be dominated (to some degree) by the women in his life though I doubt he would want to admit it; I share the same desire. And as you ladies have filled that need in his life, he has responded by becoming the model husband, brother in law, son in law, and employee. By being aware of Bob's kink and just continuing to have fun with it (you might want to do more research), you ladies could keep Bob from ever needing another real punishment spanking again.

      Jim

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  45. Jim,

    I totally agree with you and yes Bob does need a dominating role model in his life. He has actually admitted that in so many words. The way he puts it he feels he needs accountability for his actions. We are down to just a few spankings a year so I feel we'll eventually get to a point of one every few years. That's as far as discipline goes anyways. Don't think the playful spankings that he ask for will ever go away. It's just to big of a sexual trigger to him.

    Dianne

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