Total Pageviews

Friday, December 2, 2016

An Unplanned Post and My Spanking

Hey Everyone,

Well this is a post I never intended to write nor did I want to write it for that matter as it's a little embarrassing. First let me give you the backstory on what led to this happening. As you know I've been doing some recent post about some developments that took place a little over a year ago with Bob's boss. If your not aware of this go back and start reading at "A Long Overdue Post". Anyway the reason it took me over a year to post about these developments is because Bob's supervisor had to give her nod of approval before I posted them. I wasn't about to write about her and what happened since she is well aware of my blog. It took some convincing on my part but she finally gave her okay and I started writing about the developments. But her concern was her anonymity and being found out about is why she was a little leery. Her belief was that since she had basically put together who I was and Bob was and the blog she was concerned that could happen with her. I told her it was just an unfortunate (for Bob anyways) series of events that led to her discovery of our real identity. After some time (over a year) I'd finally convinced her that there was no way anyone was going to find out. I told her even if someone had any suspicions which was highly unlikely all she had to do was deny it and I would do the same. And I promised her that I would not use her real name but rather just an initial that was not even her real initial when referring to her. Well as you can see by my recent post I finally gained her trust and she gave me the go ahead to write about these things.

So everything was good and she was happy and I always let her proof read every post before posting it just so she could feel comfortable with it. I'd given her the name M which again is not even her real initial. Everything was going great until over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend I got in a little to much of a rush and screwed up in more than couple of ways. I was wanting to get my post out since I had some time that weekend and to be honest was planning on making it my last post again. Or at least until something else happened that I felt was worth posting about. I always try and proof read my post before actually posting them to my blog mainly for any spelling corrections. And I admit sometimes things slip by and I have to go back after posting and fix something. That was the case this time as well but it wasn't really a spelling error at least in the sense of something being misspelled. In my haste to get the post up I accidentally used M's real name. Not throughout the entire post just in one sentence and one paragraph. I never caught it even when I proof read it because it just didn't jump out at me with me knowing her real name anyways. Actually one of my readers caught it and made a comment in the comment section about it. Thankfully he did and I would like to personally say thank you Dan for catching it. When I saw his comment I quickly went back in and edited the post and changed her name back to M. And I looked at the traffic numbers and saw that almost 300 people had read that post so far. It had been up for probably a little over three hours when I made the correction but being the holiday weekend I'm sure a lot of people were off work and had time to surf the web. So that was the first mistake I made.

My second mistake was obviously that I hadn't done a good enough job proof reading it before posting but also I didn't let M proof read it either before I put it out on the blog. We never really had any kind of agreement between us that I had to let her read a post prior to posting it. But to put her mind at ease up to that post I'd let her read them and as I said give her approval as a courtesy to her as well as not making her worry. As I said this time I didn't do that again because it was the holiday weekend and I knew she had family in from out of town so I didn't want to bother her. True I could have waited another day till her guest were gone and then sent it to her for her to read. But as I said I happened to have free time and in my haste I just posted it. I felt she'd been alright with every post prior to this one so it wasn't a big deal. Well the next day she called and said she'd seen that I'd put up the new post. She said she had figured I was probably close to putting another one up since it had been several days since my last one. I told her that yes I had put it up on the blog the day before and asked if she'd had time to read it yet. She told me she had and thought it was an enjoyable read even though she had lived it out for real last year. She then told me she'd read all the comments as well and wanted to know about the comment about her name. Well I wasn't going to lie to her, you know how I feel about lying and those same rules apply to me as well. So I told her that yes I did accidentally mess up and use her real name in one of the paragraphs. She asked me what happen to letting her proof read these post before putting them out publicly. I told her about not wanting to bother her because I knew she had out of town family in. I told her I was really, really sorry and that I took full responsibility for it. I told her that not very many people had read it before I went in and edited her name so really she shouldn't worry to much about it. She didn't sound mad or anything on the phone just disappointed that it had happened. I couldn't blame her remember it took me a year to even talk her into letting me post about these things because of her fear of someone finding out who she was. I told her again that was highly unlikely and again that not that many people had seen the new post yet. I promised I would make it up to her somehow and she told me we'd talk about it later as she had some things she needed to do that evening. I told her that was fine and we hung up.

So my third mistake was why didn't I just delete the comment about using her name and then no one would have been any the wiser. But honestly I don't like to delete comments unless they are distasteful or just plain rude. I mean maybe it's just me but when I've read other blogs and I see a comment that has been deleted by the administrator I always think to myself that it must have been a pretty bad comment to get deleted. Maybe that wasn't the reason but because of the way I do my comments and only delete things I feel are inappropriate I just automatically think that way. And the thing is when you delete a comment it says it's been deleted but still displays the persons name that commented. So since there wasn't anything bad about Dan's comment in fact like I said I'm glad he made me aware of my mistake. But bottom line is I wasn't going to delete it and still have Dan's name there and have everyone thinking that he'd said something inappropriate. I know Dan would never do that and so I didn't want anyone else thinking he had. So that was my reason for not removing the comment after making the correction to my post. It really wasn't a mistake as I just described and not removing it was intentional. But the mistake was I never really thought about M reading it and how finding out about it would effect her. But to my credit I was at least honest and forthcoming about it. In fact I'd have probably told her about it myself if I'd discovered it later just to be honest.

Alright now fast forward to the next day which was last Sunday and M called me that morning and asked what I was doing later that day. I told her I didn't have any plans really other than just starting to put up my Christmas decorations. She asked if I had time to come over to her place for lunch and also so we could talk about what had happened. I told her that sure that would be no problem and that by that afternoon I'd probably be ready for a break from decorating anyways. So we set it up for me to come over to her house around 1:00 that afternoon. Again she didn't come across on the phone as being mad or anything just concerned and wanting to discuss this issue. I figured she just needed me to reassure her that no one would find out about her.

So I got there to M's house right at 1:00 and she greeted me at the door with a big smile and told me she had lunch all ready so we could go ahead and sit down and eat. We had a nice lunch and just talked about the Thanksgiving holiday and family and stuff. It was just a nice relaxing time for both of us and gave us a chance to catch up since we last talked. When we were done I helped her clear the table and clean and put away the dirty dishes. Once that was done she suggested that we sit back down at the kitchen table so we could discuss the mistake I'd made on my latest post.

So we sat down and the first thing I did was apologize to her again and promised to make it up to her somehow. I told her I wished I could go back and undo what had happened but that was impossible. I said but I was thinking maybe about buying her dinner at a nice restaurant or even a gift certificate to a free spa treatment. So up to that point I was doing all the talking and she just sat back and listened to me. But it did seem like her demeanor had changed since we were eating. There were no more smiles on her face and she didn't seem mad but just more like she was being very serious at that point. It was like I was seeing a whole different side of M much like the one I saw the night she gave Bob a good strapping a year earlier. But I'm in no way thinking that.that is what she was planning to do to me. Again I just figured she needed to be reassured by me that her worrying about someone knowing her identity wasn't that likely. But after I told her about buying her dinner or a spa treatment I asked her what she thought. Her reply was in a very serious tone of voice (not a raised voice) just very serious and business like. She said  that it sounded nice but it really doesn't solve anything. She told me her main concern was that this even happened in the first place after I'd assured her time and time again this would never happen. I agreed with her and again said I was sorry and if I could take things back and change them I would but it's just not possible. She said she knew that but that her real concern is that it even happened in the first place. I tried to assure her that it was just an honest mistake on my part and again apologized and told her I take full responsibility for it happening. I told her I was willing to do anything to try and make it up to her and show her how truly sorry I was. She said well I don't doubt that your sorry as I can see your apologies are very sincere. She said so she knew I was truly sorry and that her main concern was making sure it didn't ever happen again. I promised her it wouldn't and she said well that's what I told her before it happened this time. I told her that was true but it was a mistake nothing I purposefully did. She said she believed me but it was going to take more than just my word this time for her to feel comfortable it wouldn't happen again. By this point I was feeling very intimidated by her much like a young lady being interrogated by her mother. And honestly I was starting to wonder if she was even remotely thinking about punishing me. But I pressed ahead and asked her what it would take for her to believe me that it won't happen again. I said because the last thing I wanted was to have this hanging over us and effecting our friendship.

She then dropped the bomb and said that she was thinking the best way to clear the air between us was for her to give me a good hard bare bottom spanking. When she said this my mind was reeling and of course my mind was flashing to Julie's latest post at "Strict Julie". So I'm definitely worried about being spanked but also wondering if M had read Julie's post and was getting ideas. Well apparently she could sense my discomfort and asked what I was thinking. I told her I didn't know how to put it so I'd just come right out with it. I asked her if she was just talking about spanking or spanking plus other things because I wasn't comfortable with that. She told me not to worry she was not the least bit interested in me that way and was frankly a little hurt I'd even think that. I explained I only thought that because of Julie's latest post which she said she hadn't read. She told me the only blog she even bothers to look at these days is mine. She knew of Julie's blog because it was one of the ones she discovered while doing her research before her divorce. But that once she'd seen it was just her and her husband acting out scenes for fun she didn't bother keeping up with it. She said that she's seen me mention her in several post and assumed we were friends or at least communicated with each other from time to time. But it was not something she was into so she doesn't read her blog. I explained that yes me and Julie do email each other from time to time and that she helped me out a bunch when I first started spanking Bob. She said that is nice and that she was sure she was a very nice lady that gives her husband what he wants. I said she was but then she interrupted me and said we were getting off the matter at hand right now. She said so knowing that she wasn't interested in anything but clearing the air between us how did I feel about taking a spanking. I told her well certainly not excited about it but as I stated earlier I was willing to do whatever she wanted to make it up to her for my mistake. She said so your saying your willing to take a spanking then and if you do is it going to effect our friendship? I told her again I was willing to do whatever it takes to make her feel better about what happened and told her whatever she decided I would be fine with it and that it wouldn't effect our friendship. I told her I was just ready to put this all behind us so we could move forward as friends again. She said that she was glad to hear me say that and that she felt like a good spanking would really clear the air. She said it would make her feel better about the disappointment she was feeling and thought that I'd feel better about my guilt I was apparently feeling because of what I'd done. I told her that made perfect sense to me although I certainly wasn't looking forward to it. I then asked her when she wanted to do it and we could set up a time. I'm thinking in a day or two that way I could mentally prepare myself as much as possible. But she said well we're here now so no sense in delaying it, that we might as well get this over with so we could move on. That certainly isn't what I wanted to hear but was afraid that she'd say. She said that is unless I had someplace I needed to go. Well I'd already told her on the phone that morning that I had no plans that day other than decorating. So I told her no I didn't have anywhere to be so that  now was as good a time as any. And to be honest I'm thinking to myself is there really any good time to submit to a spanking? I no you guys and gals that are my readers would think so. But I'm not wired that way so my answer to my question would be a resounding NO !!

I then asked her where she wanted to do this at and she stood up and turned her chair around and said right here would be just fine. She then told me that since she really did feel like I was truly sorry about what happened that she had decided to just give me a good hand spanking. Well if there was any silver lining to this cloud that was certainly welcome news to me. I was thinking the paddle or her strap when she said a bare bottom spanking. She told me to stand up and pull down my jeans to my ankles but said I could leave my panties on. Again more welcome news thinking while there's not much protection there at least it's some. But her next statement quickly killed that thought as she said it was still going to be a bare bottom spanking as that's all she gives but that she didn't see the need in making us both uncomfortable by me exposing myself. She said that she'd work around my panties so that I could keep everything covered up except my bottom of course. Anyway I'm sure I was pretty red face at this point and know I was sweating and quite flushed but I did as she asked and pulled my jeans down to my ankles. She wasted no time in telling me to get up over her lap which I did instantly. The thing was though that she has one of those high pub style tables and so her chairs are high as well. So once I was positioned over her lap my feet were dangling in the air. So now I really felt like a naughty girl over mommies knee with my feet dangling in the air and no footing at all on the floor. She didn't plan on me having those feelings nor had she even thought about the aspect of my feet not touching the floor because I asked her about this after. Anyways once she had me where she wanted me she quickly grabbed my panties on both sides around my leg and pulled them into a wedgie into my crack. So basically it was like I was wearing a g-string panty. It wasn't a tight or uncomfortable wedgie just enough to get my panties out of the way and fully expose both my butt cheeks while leaving all my personal areas well covered.

Then within seconds of her adjusting my panties out of the way I felt about 5-6 hard swats land across my backside. I immediately howled from the onslaught to my backside and believe me any thoughts I had of this being a light hand spanking quickly diminished. There was no doubt that M was going to be true to her word about a hard bare bottom spanking. After she gave me those first few she stopped and asked me if I was really sorry for what I did and that I was going to make sure it never happens again. I told her that yes I was sorry and no it wouldn't ever happen again. Then all of the sudden whack, whack,whack another round of smacks and by this point I was starting to beg her to lighten up it hurt. She stopped and told me it was supposed to hurt that's what spankings are designed to do. She then asked me why I hadn't sent my post to her first and let her proof read it before posting it. I said that as I told her before I knew she had family in and didn't want to bother her. She said well I could have waited another day until her family left and then I wouldn't be in this position right now. I told her she was right and that I shouldn't have been in such a hurry to get it posted. I then said but we never really had an agreement that I had to let her look at it first. All of the sudden another volley of hard swats landed on my now very sore butt while she stated that was a very poor excuse for not letting her read it first. She stopped the smacks again and said that while we never had an agreement that the fact that I'd let her read every one up to that point it should have at least been a mutual understanding. I told her I agreed with her and that from here on out any post involving her I would wait until she could read it and give her approval. She then asked how many people do I think saw it before I changed it? I told her I have a counter that tells me how many times it's been viewed and it was just under 300 in fact 285 to be exact. Then another barrage of painful smacks while she pointed out that I'd said  that probably not that many people had seen it. I explained that every time someone reads it it counts and some people I'm sure read it more than one time. So really it was probably closer to 200 or less that saw it before the change. I said and that doesn't mean they all caught the fact I'd actually used her name. She said well we know at least one person caught it so there could have been others as well that just didn't say anything even upwards of 100 people. I told her I see her point but still felt like any chance of her being found out is a very, very remote possibility. She said well she hoped I was right because if anyone did we'd be back here again discussing things a little more seriously.

She said alright that was enough questions and she was satisfied that I was sorry and had answered all her questions truthfully. She said so no more questions let's just get this punishment over with and really drive home the point. I knew from when she spanked Bob how she did things and she basically has two parts to her punishments. The scolding and question phase followed by the real spanking of non stop smacks with no questions. She told me to give her my free hand and she pinned it behind my back. And then started a non stop flurry of hard smacks to both my cheeks as well as part of my upper thighs. I was pleading and begging and thank goodness she'd let me retain my panties because my legs were flying all over the place. Had my panties not have been covering my personal areas I would have exposed everything to her and wouldn't have even cared at that point. As all I could think of was the fire turning into a inferno on my poor butt. Then right when I was on the verge of just losing it all together and the waterworks really flowing uncontrollably she stopped. She helped me up and without even thinking about my rules with Bob I started trying to rub some of that sting out of my backside. She looked at me and asked if I'd learned my lesson and I said I had. She then commented that my eyes were not even watery so she didn't think I'd truly relieved my guilt. I told her that it hurt real bad and that my butt was on fire but she's right I do feel like she'd let me off sort of easy with a hand spanking even as much as it hurt.

She told me to wait right there and she left the kitchen and went down the hallway towards the bedrooms. When she came back she was holding a paddle in her hand. I told her that a paddling wasn't necessary as the hand spanking really hurt and that I promised I'd never make the mistake again. She said I know it hurt I could see that by your reactions but I still don't feel as though you've released your guilt. As much as I hated to admit it she was right I probably would have felt like she let me off to easy once the fire subsided in my backside. And she did have me right at that point of releasing those emotions when she stopped spanking me. She later told me she knew that and hated to stop but her hand was really starting to sting and it couldn't take anymore. But anyways she told me I would feel better if I just released those emotions and then we could truly move past this. I told her she was probably right as much as I hated to admit it. I asked what she wanted to do and she told me to pull my pants back down and bend over the chair. I did as she asked and she again pulled my panties back into a wedgie. She commented that my bottom was pretty red and this shouldn't take much. Then all of the sudden smack,smack,smack a rapid onslaught from that paddle alternating cheek to cheek. The tears came instantly in fact the floodgates really opened up. I couldn't even recover from one swat before the next one landed. I didn't know how many she gave me as there was no way I could even think of counting. But she later confirmed it was only 6 three to each cheek. She stopped once I started really crying and said that's what I'm looking for true remorse and told me to get all those feelings of guilt out. She held me for a minute and then wiped the tears out of my eyes and asked if I was alright. I told her I was and while that wasn't pleasant that she was right I did need to release my emotions. She said she was glad to hear that and then said so we're still friends right. And I told her most definitely we were and thanked her for clearing this up and being so understanding. She thanked me for being willing to give her an opportunity to clear the air between us as well. And then she said let's move past this now with a new understanding about future post that involved her. I told her that sounded great to me and told her let's at least do lunch sometime soon. Then she smiled that wonderful smile of hers that I hadn't seen in the last fifteen minutes or so and said that sounded like a plan. She called me later that night to see how I was feeling and I told her I was still fine. She asked if I told Bob what happened and I told her I did as we don't keep secrets from one another. She was concerned about what he thought and I told her he was fine and that if anyone understood about a spanking clearing things up he certainly did. She laughed and said well your right about that.

So that is the how and why of my spanking which I promised M that I'd write a post about as a little humiliation for extra punishment. And you can bet I emailed this to her first to let her check for any information that was inaccurate or any accidental use of her name before posting.

Dianne

54 comments:

  1. Boy this post poses a dilemma.

    As much as I like the karma of this event in general, that seems like a vindictive and unnecessarily nasty way to address an honest mistake, especially with someone you call a friend. Not every mistake needs to be paid for in pain and tears.

    I think this woman just really likes spanking people and looks for opportunities to indulge her desires.

    --James

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WOW James you completely missed the point again. I'm not sure whether you intentionally visit different blogs trying to get under their skin or if you really just think so differently than everyone else.

      But to say my dear friend M really likes spanking people and looks for opportunities to indulge her desires is so completely untrue it's ridiculous.

      Sure not every mistake needs to be paid for with pain an tears no one is saying that. But sometimes as in this case it's the quickest easiest way to resolve the issue. I felt horrible for what happened even though it was an honest mistake. It's something that could have been avoided completely as I mentioned in the post. Instead I got sloppy and in a hurry to simply get a post up that I skipped some safeguards that would have prevented this. I take sole responsibility for those actions. I disappointed a really good friend and caused her some legitimate concerns about her true identity being found out. So although I certainly didn't enjoy getting spanked I must admit I did deserve it.
      And it's not like I didn't have a choice in the matter as it was consensual.

      She was hurt and disappointed and obviously wanted some form of retribution for me doing that to her. I was ashamed and felt really guilty for my actions as well. So her giving me a spanking took care of those feelings we both had. Now we're fine and have moved on. I've paid for my mistake and she's got rid of her frustration and is confident I've learned my lesson and it won't happen again.

      As far as M enjoying spanking people that's just absurd. She's punished Bob twice both time for very legitimate reasons involving his behavior at work. And now me this time again for a very good reason. That's in the last year and a half. And prior to her spanking Bob that first time which if you remember I encouraged it she was not actively spanking anyone. But like this time with me, and her knowing the dynamics of mine and Bob's relationship. She threw it out their as a quick and easy solution to the situation. In other words I've had and I'm sure she's had plenty of people upset her that you'd love to teach a lesson. But your certainly not going to suggest a spanking unless you know it's an option.

      Dianne

      Delete
    2. Actually this is really healthy as well as educational for a disciplinarian to experience spanking. My wife was spanked for many years by her ex. It taught her which side of the paddle she belonged on but it also taught her volumes about being a successful disciplinarian. She has told me many times her experiences taught her how to know when I need spanked and how to make it effective. I do believe authority has to be clear and consistent and for example Bob should never spank Dianne nor should I spank my own wife if she needed discipline. But it would be fine if she accepted a spanking from another disciplinarian with my knowledge as Dianne did with Bob. Also whether an offense is big enough to justify a spanking or how severe that spanking is cannot be something the person being punished decides. Once authority has been given whether to a spouse or as here to a friend, the decision of when, where and how hard is out of your hands and it should be.
      Alan

      Delete
    3. Thank you Alan for that thoughtful comment. And I agree with you wholeheartedly. All I would add is that while M took on the disciplinarian role in this instance as she should have. We certainly don't see each other in that respect. We're just good friends and in this case a spanking was the best solution to put things behind us and move on as friends. Without having this cloud of what happened being constantly over our friendship. I was actually considering a spanking as being an option to make things up to her but didn't want to be the one to suggest it. Partly because I'll admit I don't like spankings and I've made that clear I don't get excited about them as Bob does. But mainly the reason is I didn't feel it was my place to suggest it. I was the one that made the mistake and created the situation in the first place. Doing that by default puts me in the submissive role not in a position of authority of telling her how things should be handled.

      Now that it's done I feel like I've paid for my mistake and she feels confident things are resolved and won't happen again. Now it's behind us and we can move on as friends and equals. I don't see her any differently now than I did before. All I'm saying is this certainly isn't a start to a disciplinary/submissive role between the two of us. We're great friends and still are that just basically performed a quick solution to overcome a problem.

      Dianne

      Delete
    4. Dianne,
      I don't completely understand the concept of getting spanked without an authority figure involved. But as I have already been told that is probably part of my training growing up and just wound into my spanking DNA now. The important thing is that more people are learning to use spanking to resolve problems in relationships and that is all good.I and probably many others are still interested in how you reduced the number of spankings Bob gets to three or four a year. I don't get a lot more than that ( with some exceptions) but it took almost ten years for us to achieve that. I guess I just see a lot of myself in Bob and it just amazes me you got him under control so fast
      Alan

      Delete
    5. Alan your right in the fact that there has to be an authority figure in a spanking. In this case it was M. All I'm saying is that I certainly don't see her as my authority figure from here on out. Not like Bob sees me anyway's.

      Dianne

      Delete
  2. I didn't miss the point. We just disagree on how friendship works.

    I don't think real friends need to seek "retribution" or to take out their frustrations on one another by hitting each other to tears over acts of carelessness or negligence. Not everything requires a pound of flesh.

    I can't even believe it would be seriously considered. So, yes I question her motives. Also, for a boss to do that to an employee (while admittedly great fantasy fodder) is unbelievable. She would be fired on the spot for that, whether Bob consented or not.

    As i suggested, I won't lose any sleep over you getting it, but she is unbelievable.

    --James

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm through with this thread James as I said you don't get it. So please keep your rude comments to yourself.

      Dianne

      Delete
    2. For what it's worth, I respect you for submitting to it. That took a lot of guts.

      -- James

      Delete
    3. Thank you for that James. While we may disagree about the solution I really felt as though it was the best and easiest way to clear things up.

      Delete
  3. Dianne,

    I am very sorry for getting you spanked!

    One lesson you should take away from both the spanking and from your recent comment exchanges is that, while you don't like deleting comments, you really have to if you want to keep your blog what you want it to be and avoid certain distracting interactions . . . . I hope that you will delete anything of mine that is distracting or inconsistent with the theme of your blog. Or that is likely to get you spanked. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dan please don't feel bad that I got spanked it's certainly not your fault. As I said I'm actually very thankful you brought my attention to the mistake. Had you not done it I'm sure M would have noticed it the next day when she read the post. And by then how many more people would have had the opportunity to notice it. I'd have been in the same situation only worse so I certainly don't blame you in the least. As I said I'm very grateful you commented when you did.

      Even if M wouldn't have caught it the next day which is very unlikely given the fact this was her main concern about me posting about her. But say I noticed it some time later as I said I would have felt obliged to tell her about it. Whether it's a good friend or your spouse I feel being honest is always the best thing to do.

      I do agree with you about deleting comments that don't have a place or are rude. But I just didn't think yours fit that criteria and still don't. Yes it did happen to be what gave M the knowledge of what happened. But as I said she was going to find out anyways one way or another.

      So please don't feel bad Dan as I'm certainly not placing any blame on you. It was my mistake and therefore my responsibility to accept full responsibility as well as the consequences. Thank you again for bringing it to my attention early on !!

      Dianne

      Delete
  4. "...I was pleading and begging and thank goodness she'd let me retain my panties because my legs were flying all over the place."

    Love that scene. I call it "Dancing on the ceiling."

    A.J.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes A.J. I can see where picturing that can be stimulating. I've even commented myself when writing about Bob being spanked how modesty seems to be the least of your concerns during a spanking.

      Dianne

      Delete
  5. "...if anyone understood about a spanking clearing things up (Bob) certainly did.

    I was never sure about spanking as therapy or for 'wellness', so I asked a 'spankologist' who told me that it doesn't happen often, but she has had a couple of clients who sought it and it worked out.

    Told me one was a guy who had done something as a teen, got caught by a neighbor and, confronted by his mother denied, denied, and denied (knowing what would happen otherwise). His mother took his word for it. The fallout caused the neighbor - one of his mother's best friends! - to permanently end their friendship. That hurt his mother and he saw that.

    And then his guilt trip began. For decades. Now in his early 40's and his mother deceased he sought out the 'spankologist' wondering if getting that spanking he deserved at age 14 now would help his guilt.

    Time to find out and OTK he went for a hard session with a hairbrush. And this was repeated a few more times (sessions) until he finally called her and said, "I'm good."

    Maybe it does. You mileage may vary.

    A.J.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree that a vigorously administered brush or paddle can reduce or eliminate guilt. My experience is with changing behavior but I can't imagine one could not deal with old guilt similarly. But like behavior change, the spanking should be explicitly tied to the guilty behavior and the remorse and desire to do penance must be heartfelt.As you point out the punishment may have to be repeated several times to work as happens with deeply rooted behavior. If corporal punishment is imposed on someone without their full cooperation it probably won't work either to reduce guilt or change behavior. But if it is fully accepted as necessary and positive it absolutely changes behavior.I plan to explore this further because I know guilt lies behind some bad behavior and I may have a husband who needs me to bring that guilt out and deal with it. Thank you.
      Marisa

      Delete
    2. I think Marisa gives a very good explication here with the key part both participants must be willing and on board. Otherwise it won't work.

      To be honest Bob would be the better person to answer about long term guilt as you mentioned A.J. But I agree it can be dealt with just the same as new guilt again if both participants understand the goal that is trying to be accomplished. It's funny because 10 years ago I'd have never gone for this. If I upset someone and they suggested spanking me I'd have said no way. But now because of Bob I have a better understanding about guilt and consequences. So understanding this now a simple spanking worked for both M and me to resolve things. Where as ten years ago my refusal probably would have just damaged or ended a friendship.

      And really the only reason M felt this was an option or even suggested it is because she's aware of mine and Bob's relationship. I guess we can both thank Bob for that. lol

      Dianne

      Delete
  6. Shawn, as a male spanked by my wife, I agree with the way you handled the situation. I really feel that you knew the hand spanking was not getting through and the paddle would bring the results you were looking for and it did. One thing I have learned when Susan spanks me she knows if I'm not getting the message. She spanks hard, but what she does is then makes me face the wall, tells me she is not done, the wait is the worse and once back over her lap that hairbrush really gets my attention. You were right in how you handled it, just like my wife.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm assuming this comment is directed at me and if not I'll let Dianne straighten this out. But your right I was looking to get Dianne to that point to where she released her feelings of guilt. It's not that my hand wasn't doing the trick as she said in her post I almost had her there. But my hand got to sore to go on. Contrary to one of the comments I don't live to spank and certainly don't give out regular spankings to anyone. So my poor hand isn't used to delivering a long hard spanking.

    M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well it sounds like your wife handles you much like I handle Bob which is good. M didn't put me in a corner or make me face the wall and I honestly thought it was over. Until she showed up with that paddle. I was honestly thinking the heck with my guilt I'll live with it. But now that it's over I'm glad she took me over that edge.

      Thanks M for answering this comment I think your right the first part was directed towards you.

      Dianne

      Delete
    2. Shawn, Susan applies the hairbrush to insure I got her attention. Facing the wall is for me the worse part of the punishment, others have seen me. Susan has stated many times females like seeing a man's bottoms red after a spanking, unlike men any part of the woman's body get them erect, I feel very little and the punishment does work I try and watch myself.

      Delete
    3. Well Susan is right in the fact that just seeing a mans naked bottom is certainly not a turn on. Even the front side for that matter. Guys don't get the fact that we're not wired like they are.

      Dianne

      Delete
    4. Susan, Shawn showed me this, thank you for again explaining that women are wired different, men are slow in that department. As for his spankings, what I enjoy is the little boy comes out, it is so cute. Facing the wall he hates the most and when one someone drops in he just wants to run to the bedroom, knows better, a spanking in front of who ever, only once did this happen. So once again Thank You for your time and reminding my husband about women.

      Delete
    5. Your very welcome and it's funny you talk about the little boy coming out. In most cases isn't it acting childish that earns them a spanking in the first place.

      Dianne

      Delete
    6. So true, Shawn acts just like that before the spanking, during the spanking and after the spanking. He is so cute that I work hard not to smile and maintain my stern "Mommy" look.

      Delete
  8. Congratulations on a very informative post. I delete comments on my blog that don't move the conversation along. I recently removed a couple from the same person bothering you here.

    The idea of disciplining the disciplinarian is a well-tested practice in the D/S world. Of course, it would be inappropriate for Bob to spank you. But if you need correction, you should certainly get it.

    Until very recently (and you have had a lot to do with this), I had an incorrect view of spanking as punishment. My wife did too. Since neither of us were spanked as kids, we didn't really understand the entire concept of physical punishment.

    We've been doing it for over a year, but the connections weren't complete. It was more that she spanked me because I asked her to do that as part of our FLR. Now she is starting to see spanking as a useful way to clear the air and to help me make positive changes.

    You, obviously, have a long history of spanking as a way to atone for lapses. I imagine that this belief is deep seated and that gives you the moral and emotional foundation for punishing Bob.

    It only stands to reason that if you firmly believe that spanking is valuable when you are the spanker, that you would accept a spanking to atone for something you did.

    You and Bob are lucky that spanking is such an integral part of your lives. We are on our way to that, but at this point my wife spanks me because she believes it's how I want her to handle infractions. I don't think she really believes that punishing me is something she wants to do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is very interesting and your right I do have a very deep seeded belief that spanking is for punishment for bad behavior. And also it's a tool to correct that behavior. This does come from being spanked while growing up by my mom. Like you Bob was not spanked growing up except for a few paddling's he got in school. But never from his mom and dad. So not getting them and hearing about or knowing his friends got them instilled a curiosity in him. That curiosity of what it would be like eventually turned into a sexual trigger for him as he got older especially hearing from his friend Dee in detail her spanking from her mom. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that spanking became sexual for Bob to where for me my view of spanking was always a punishment.

      So with that said I couldn't understand why anyone would want a spanking or definitely couldn't understand what was exciting about it.

      But after understanding Bob's needs I began to see the benefit a good spanking could provide as far as atoning for things and releasing feelings of guilt. Really it was the same thing when I got them growing up it's just as an adult now I see things more clearly.

      Your right because of the dynamics of our relationship Bob could never spank me. It would mess up the dynamics of me being the disciplinarian or authority figure. But with another person that I trust as an authority figure I can willingly submit myself to for correction if I feel like I've done wrong by them as was the case here. And by doing so I don't have to worry about it changing the dynamics of our relationship as it would allowing Bob to spank me. Because it's atonement for a one time thing not a complete need of wanting to be held accountable like Bob wants. Like this post it's just simply I made a mistake so I'll take what I have coming and we can move on. No hard feelings or me having to feel submissive to M just a spanking to make sure I get her point. And a way for me not to feel bad about it anymore because I paid for my mistake.

      Dianne

      P.S. I'm glad I was able to help with your views of spanking as punishment.




      Delete
    2. Yes, you did Lion. And today, you entitled your post ("Demise Engineering") in honor of my comment that you have "thoroughly engineered your own demise."

      --James

      Delete
  9. Hi Dianne,

    An interesting post and comments.

    I agree that it has to be consensual. As you know from our private blog (the Good DD Life one) Cathy and I have gone through many stages and feelings about using spanking to sort out issues (and in particular over the last two years - which is not on our blog as Cathy did not want to share our lives that openly anymore), so I feel we have a deep understanding of the ins and outs of this way of settling things. What feels important is that both parties want to use spanking, as opposed to other way, but also that they recognise that spanking alone won't do the job. There has to be true meeting of minds, a sense of wanting to reconnect the relationship - before the spanking starts. A desire to make amends has to come first.

    This is important, because otherwise the spanking begins with at least some resistance still inside the spankee, and even the spanker, and while the reconnection may come during the spanking, usually along with the floodgates opening, it is not really enough. In fact, I would say, it cannot be truly said to be consensual and appropriate until the spankee is able to fully agree they need it/deserve it AND the spanker want to give it.

    I don't know if this is what M is thinking of and intending by the first part of her spankings, the questions and answers part, but if not then she is innately skilled at it. It certainly seems to be she has an understanding of needing to connect with their mind before connecting with their emotions (via the 2nd part of the spanking). It would be interesting to hear what she says about this two part approach, and if it has a purpose or just seems to work for her?

    It also means, that if this is what she is doing and wants (and James is completely wrong), then you have one hell of a good friend there! And one who plans to make sure you stay friends. Questions is, what will she do when/if she screws up? Assuming she sees you both as equals, it would follow she would look to you to sort it out as she did. (And, assuming you’re reading this, M? Would you?).

    Tim

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Tim I fully agree that it must be consensual with both parties having a full understanding of why this is happening. M understands this as well and while our methods may vary the end result is the same. I prefer to do my lecturing and scolding before I even start the spankings. I want to be sure Bob is fully aware of why a spanking is about to happen. With him the consensual part is already automatic as he asked for this.

      With M that day I certainly knew a spanking was a real possibility given the fact we both understand the dynamics of it. So I was certainly willing to take one if she deemed it appropriate. I just wasn't going to be the one to bring it up. Partly because I was scared as she said because unlike Bob spankings are not exciting to me in the least. And to be honest I felt like at that moment anyways that I was in the submissive role which I should have been. It was my mistake not hers. I was subtly hinting though that I was open to it by letting her know I was willing to do anything to make it up to her though.

      Secondly my concern was what I wrote about in reference to Julie's latest few post. I didn't want M thinking I was wanting anything like that. I shouldn't have even thought that way but I did. And as I wrote she quickly dispelled that thought.

      While it certainly didn't feel like it at the time especially once her paddle came into play she certainly did me a huge favor. She's absolutely right what she said in her comment about me feeling terrible for what happened. So taking me to that place of feeling I'd paid the price for my mistake and releasing those feelings of guilt was the right call on her part. Otherwise I'd be sitting here right now feeling bad for what happened. Not the case now after a good spanking.

      Lastly I just wanted to say I can certainly understand where your wife is coming from about putting your personal life out there on the blog. I feel the same way and started my blog to hopefully educate others. Once I felt I'd done that I didn't see a need to write about everyone of Bob's spankings or punishment.

      Dianne

      Delete
    2. I wonder how your friendship has changed since M spanked you? I ask because I have a female friend, D. (a mutual friend of both me and Cathy, but more mine than hers), who helped me out with some life coaching type discipline this summer (the spankings with Cathy are purely for our own relationship issues). I needed some help with changing some lifestyle issues, and Cathy agreed to this friend taking care of it. The spankings (which were in no way fun at all, since D. does this for a living) were very effective. But what D. and I found was that it strengthened our friendship considerably. I have known D. for several years and been her shoulder to cry on regarding men and relationships many times (for 'shoulder to cry on', read 'person to rant to'), so to be over her lap, crying like a little kid, was a revelation (emotionally), for us both. To have all my pride and barriers removed changed her from being a friend/acquaintance to my best friend (after Cathy) and the person I now turn to when I need help. In fact, it led her to saving both me and my marriage with Cathy. So I know being spanked by a friend (if for the right reasons – ie. not for sexual or fetish play) deepens a friendship considerably. So, without wishing for a hiccup in life to come your way too soon, I hope M gets to experience that too ;)

      Delete
    3. Tim I certainly felt closer to her the afternoon she gave me the spanking and time will tell if that continues. I think there's just a certain bonding that takes place between both participants whether your the one spanking or the one receiving. That is with a non sexual spanking anyways. I could clearly see it pained her to some degree to have to do that to me. And I have those same feelings when I spank Bob. But you do it because you care about the person. I always remember mom saying this hurt her more than it was going to hurt me before a spanking. That didn't make any sense to me growing up. But now as a mother and Bob's disciplinarian I can definitely understand what she meant.

      I really think we will become closer friends whether any more spankings happen or not. I'm just basing this off the fact that Bob and I have become closer and also him and M have as well.

      Dianne

      Delete
  10. Dear Dianne
    I'm a reader of your blog and much like it.

    You says at the end of this post "A little humiliation for extra punishment".

    After reading it, I could not help thinking that the whole process was ultra humiliating.
    Mrs M force you to appear at our eyes in a way we never had believe possible.

    To begin with, she announces that she believes you deserve a good hard bare bottom spanking. Nothing but uttering these words is already a great humiliation.
    When she asks you to lower your pants, we imagine you appear in front of her, in panties, what a shame! Because it is at the same time in front of us that you appear in this shameful attire!
    But that's not all. You describe yourself as "pretty sweating and quite flushed" so you may think your panties were impregnated with sweat. And what a humiliation when she decides to strip your ass by pulling the panties in your buttocks cleft. But if it is to protect your modesty, one is forced to think that the fabric of the pants rubs on your pussy and your anus. And that during all the spanking. And surely more and more as you wriggled.
    There is also the fact that the stool is too high So you really feel like a naughty girl over mommies knee with your feet dangling in the air and not jogging on the floor. Can we imagine a more humiliating position for a woman of your age and Mrs M obliges you to describe us this position! Until the end of the spanking where she holds you by the panties while you throw the legs in all directions.
    After this good hard bare bottom spanking, she forces you to take off your pants again and give you another wedgie for a good correction with the paddle so that the floodgate really opened up. And worse, she wiped the tears out of your eyes as one does to a tiny little girl well punished.
    So I was very shocked at these very humiliations and wondered what you thought.
    Has Mrs M had pleasure in inflicting you all these humiliations and do you believe that it pleases her to oblige you to tell us them.

    Do you think she could force you to publish a photo of your big buttocks all red, such as strict Julie was forced recently to do it on her blog?

    Waiting to read you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can answer this very easily and that is yes it was humiliating as spankings usually are. That's just part of the punishment. The rest of your comment I'd clearly say your imagination is running a little wild. Yes I was sweating a nervous sweat but no I wasn't thinking anything sexual at that point. Nor was I during the spanking. My only thoughts were the pain in my backside.

      As far as a picture not happening I'm not here to be an exibitionist plus my butt no longer red. As far as M forcing me that's not going to happen either. No one was forcing anyone during this ordeal.

      Dianne

      Delete
    2. Thank you for your reply. I did not want to say that you felt anything sexual, neither you nor Mrs M. But I think the humiliation is not so much to receive the spanking as to have to tell it publicly in its smallest details. Perhaps because Mrs M is hierarchically superior to you (in fact, would it be conceivable that you would spank her if she had made a mistake as you did?)

      Delete
    3. Sure it's conceivable we're friends nothing more. We don't view each other in a dom/sub fashion. Neither before the spanking or after.

      As far as the details that was all me describing what I was feeling. All M did was suggest I write it not order me to. She felt it would be therapeutic for me as well as fair to Bob. Since this whole blog pretty much has been about his punishments. Why not write about mine and I agreed.

      Dianne

      Delete
    4. It seems M answered where you didn't.
      "I'm sure if a situation was warranted she have no problem returning the favor."

      Delete
    5. She answered it a little more clearly but I did answer. You asked me if concievably I could spank her. In my very first sentence I said sure it was conceivable.

      Dianne

      Delete
  11. Very interesting comment Tim and well thought out I might add. I'm only going to answer the questions you posed to me as I don't feel it's my place to answer for Dianne and I'm sure she'll add her thoughts as well.
    First to answer my two part approach to spanking. The simple answer is that is the way I got spanked growing up and it's the way I continued to do it once I was grown and had a life of my own. I never really put much thought in it like you have but I like and agree with what you say. For me I always looked at it as a time to scold and also confirm in the persons mind that's being spanked why we're doing this. That way there's no confusion on their part. I think it's important they realize doing whatever gets these results. Once I'm confident of that then I feel there's a need for real punishment which is the second part. And this is the part where the true emotions and remorse come into play.
    I never really correlated this with adult spanking but knowing about and seeing first hand with Bob and Dianne I could see it really was no different. As far as our friendship I feel I established that wouldn't be harmed prior to spanking Dianne. I knew she was in agreement with me it was the best way to handle it. She was just apprehensive because she was scared of the actual spanking and the papa he knew would be involved. That's a natural reaction and certainly doesn't mean she wasn't consenting.
    Dianne is a dear friend who I trust wholeheartedly and she broke that trust a little with what she did. I was disappointed but I also knew it was an honest mistake and I could tell she felt horrible about it. In fact I could tell she felt worse than I did. And that's why I suggested a spanking as I knew she needed to release those feelings and what better way than a spanking. I knew she'd understand that given hers and Bob's relationship.
    Finally would I be willing to accept the same treatment from her given the fact I did something to break our trust. Absolutely without a doubt as I said I trust Dianne fully and consider her a dear friend who would have my best interest at heart just as I did hers.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We are in the early stages of using memorable punishment for offenses. Neither of us has any childhood history of spanking. Your almost-instinctive use of spanking as a way to resolve bad feelings is a new idea to me.

      We have been using spanking as a way to correct relatively minor behavioral "mistakes" I make. Until last week, the spankings I received were what I'm sure you would consider mild. That changed last Friday when I received a paddling that I felt (a little) the next day.

      I never considered spanking as something that would make me feel better. We both consider it punishment that, if effective, will stop me from repeating offenses.

      I get punished for interrupting, spilling food on my shirt, poor manners like eating first, and most recently for touching myself (NOT masturbating).

      I've been wearing a chastity device for almost 3 years. We had to send the device to its maker for rethreading the security screw. That leaves my penis accessible. I've done some slightly sexual touching. It isn't enough to even make me hard; but it is a violation of a strict no-touching rule.

      I don't feel guilty I did it. I really don't feel anything about it except that I know I am not supposed to do it. Friday's spanking was for this offense. I repeated it on Saturday and self-reported it to my wife. Tonight I am going to be spanked for it.

      Does the spanking have to be more severe for me to feel remorse? Is spanking a way to teach me that something I consider minor is really a big offense in the mind of my wife?

      We've been focusing on the basics of introducing punishment into our FLR. Only recently have I considered a deeper meaning for it.

      I wonder if we are still missing a major reason for spanking. If we are, how would we introduce it?

      Thanks,
      Lion

      Delete
    2. Hi M,

      Thanks your reply and I acknowledge and admire your innate skill, and honesty (and courage too, should the paddle ever be in the other hand, so to speak, with Dianne - I wonder if she already knew she had that option?).

      I am glad too that you liked my insight and found it interesting, but I have to admit it was not really a case of me giving it a lot of thought. It just appeared that way to me anyways. As my wife would tell you, I automatically analyse everything and while she often finds my insights interesting, a lot of the time she finds them annoying - especially when I am trying to second guess what she is saying!

      Delete
  12. Lion your a little out of my league with the chastity thing but I can tell you about spanking both from experiencing it as well as giving it. I don't believe the harshness relieves remorse. That's more an emotional release. I mean although Dianne may not agree (just kidding) her spanking wasn't that harsh as it was a hand spanking. And if my hand hadn't have gotten to sore to continue I certainly could have accomplished the results that way. But you yourself said you don't think your behavior is bad so if you have no remorse how can you release it.

    Now Tim your welcome for my reply and as far as does Dianne know she'd have that option I think for sure she does now after her spannking. But even before as she said above she knew it was a possibility herself so yes I'm sure if a situation was warranted she have no problem returning the favor.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good to hear it.

      Just to let you know, I just replied to Dianne, above, and made some observations re friendship and spankings that you may want to read too. :)

      Delete
  13. I read the comment as well as Dianne's reply. And I do agree with her response.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think that "bonding" that Dianne and others mentioned that occurs after a disciplinary spanking is a huge part of what makes spanking work on so many levels. At some point a spankee realizes spanking is more about love than punishment or maybe love and punishment are the same thing expressed differently.I will never forget the first time it all came together for me. The woman who introduced me to adult spanking was sitting on the bed preparing to spank me for what I don't remember but she was very angry and I was a little scared what was going to happen. She called me out of the corner and ordered me over her lap and I could see the large heavy brush she intended to use and just freaked out a little and begged her not to do it. She smiled at me and her anger was gone and she said something like " Alan, I would not spank you if I did not care and if I did not love you. Now get over my lap". It was almost magical. My fear subsided and I understood that spanking expressed her love and my behavior had not cost me her love but made it necessary for me to be punished. I don't remember the spanking after that. Knowing her it was probably pretty severe. But for the first time I consciously knew what spanking was about.
    Alan

    ReplyDelete
  15. That's much the same as I was Alan only from your girlfriend's point of view. Growing up I associated getting spanked with my bad behavior and it did teach a lesson. It wasn't until I was an adult and had kids of my own that I understood the spankings because you care part.

    It took me a long time to realize that both these principles could work even as an adult. That is that it could bring about real change and relieve remorse for the one being spanked. And also spanking someone because you care about them. Now because of Bob I realize it can work at any age. That is so long as both participants are willing.

    Dianne

    ReplyDelete
  16. For me this whole concept of adult spanking is pretty new. I fully agree with Dianne's response to Alan and also loved reading Alan's comment. As Dianne briefly touched on in her first post about my discovery of her and Bob and the blog I'd never really thought about adult spankings.
    But I was married to a guy that over time became very rude and unruly towards me. I stuck it out until the kids were grown and out of the house for their sakes. I had tried counseling but he refused to go. I tried bending over backwards to please him and that just made things worse. He wasn't appreciative of me whatsoever and basically had an attitude like I was lucky to have him.
    Anyhow as one last ditch effort I got online and started researching ways to change someone's behavior. I won't go into all the stuff I read but eventually landed at some blogs. Dianne's was one of them and for some reason pulled me in. It's like it spoke to me in a way I guess. I read the whole thing in about two days. I then got up my nerve and contacted her via email and explained my situation. She replied back and basically explained that these methods could certainly be effective. But the one key was both participants needed to be in agreement and willing. Bottom line this was the first I'd even heard of much less considered spanking an adult.
    I explained things to my husband and he basically told me no way. I told him I was fed up with being treated the way he treated me and that I really wanted to help him realize this. I felt this could be effective at making him a better person all together. I also told him the was my last effort and he either at least try it or I was filing for divorce. He basically told me to go ahead and file.
    Sorry for getting all personal here but basically I divorced and never really thought about the blog again until that one fateful day with Bob in my office.
    So my first time spanking an adult was Bob and I found it was no different. I've paddled him once since then and both times brought about the result I was looking for.
    So now I realize the dynamics just as Alan and Dianne have described and can testify to the benefit it brings about.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From what I can find out, adult spanking is very rarely, if ever, initiated by the spanker. Your ex was invested in his behavior and I'm sure saw no reason to submit to painful "help" in changing it.

      I suspect that many of us men who asked our wives to spank us, did so out of the sexual thrill we get when we think about being spanked. That doesn't mean our wives spank us to turn us on. Oh no! Right Dianne?

      I'm never aroused when I am being spanked. It hurts way too much. But a quirk in our male wiring is that even after a blistering spanking, once the heat cools a bit, thinking about it is arousing.

      I doubt many of us guys think that allowing our wives to spank us will make us better men. But, at least for me, the emotional calm and lack of guilt that follows being punished make me very willing to be spanked again if I require it.

      As Mrs. Lion says, I control it. If I don't want my butt to burn, all I have to do is follow the rules and be a good boy.

      There's something very special and intimate about being spanked. I can't explain it, but it's there just the same.

      Delete
    2. That was put very well, Cagedlion. I'm sure not all men are like you describe, but I wanted to back you up with your explanation because it is pretty much spot on for me too.
      Tim

      Delete
  17. Yes I knew from reading Dianne's blog that Bob had indeed asked for this. And when I sent her that email prior to my divorce she was very up front that it had to be a mutual interest. So it was not really a big surprise he didn't go for it but I felt I at least needed to try. I guess you'd say it was a last ditch effort on my part. I tell Dianne all the time she's a lucky girl to have Bob and she knows it. I guess I'm lucky as well to have him as an employee. I wished I had a whole shop full of Bob's. Not for the spanking aspects but just the fact he's dependable and courteous and I never have to worry about the job getting done. Of course if he has one of those moments when his anger or frustration get the best of him then that's easily straightened out as well.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  18. All I would add and I'm no expert I've just figured out how Bob's mind works. And your right that fantasy pops up every now and then he can't help it. That's why I gave him that outlet to ask me for a spanking. The real spankings the ones I decide he needs are anything but enjoyable by him. And your absolutely right they are an emotional release for both of us actually.

    But I've also found the quickest way to kill a fantasy is to make it a reality. This is rare but occasionally it does happen as was the case with M. And I'm talking about his punishments from her not mine. Bob and M would both tell you that his fantasies about what would it be like to be spanked by her are no longer there. He's found out and now realizes reality is nothing like the fantasy.

    Dianne

    ReplyDelete
  19. It has been a while since I was last spanked by L. (at my own request) for a transgression I had acknowledged - and I admit that I, too, may need... and, to some extent 'enjoy' being on the receiving end when I know I have deserved it (just as he does... but far more often!)

    J.

    ReplyDelete
  20. It is my experience that knowing, FROM EXPERIENCE, what a disciplinary session feels like (not just the spanking, but the scolding/questioning and discussion of why the spanking is happening) makes for a better Disciplinarian. It has nothing at all to do with liking it, or wanting it, and everything to do with making you better at your appointed duties, as it were. I could of course be wrong, but I would be willing to bet that your understanding of discipline has changed, substantially, since this happened. That's why I feel everyone who is planning to be a Disciplinarian should experience exactly this, at least once.
    Just one Bald Dude's opinion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry for the late reply Rick somehow I missed this comment. Yes I do absolutely agree with you about how a real disciplinary session should be. I did understand this concept growing up but as an adult it was different this time. If you've read my whole blog then you know I've been spanked two other times as an adult. Once by my sister Amy for what I felt was going to far with Bob. And the second time by mom for being disrespectful towards her.

      But this time was completely different since M is a friend and I really felt bad for what I'd done. It was a very emotionally cleansing process for me. Your right it gave me a new outlook on the whole experience.

      Dianne

      Delete